Two cultures, two countries, one slightly injured groom, a bride rapidly losing her voice, a live band I met two days beforehand and somehow, one of the best days of our lives.
There was a moment on our very first trip to Bali when Len and I were wandering around our hotel, completely in holiday mode, when one of us said:
“This would be an incredible place to get married.”
And the other agreed.
That probably sounds very romantic now.
At the time, we weren’t even engaged.
We were still fairly early into our relationship and marriage wasn’t something we had sat down and mapped out.
It was just a passing comment.
But we both meant it.
We could see it.
Bali had already started doing that strange thing it does, where something that felt completely out of reach before you arrived suddenly starts feeling possible.
And somewhere in the back of our minds, that little idea stayed.
Our Bali wedding: the short version
If you are here because you are considering getting married in Bali yourself, this is not a theoretical destination wedding guide.
We actually did it.
In this story, I cover:
- why we chose Bali rather than getting married in the UK
- what we discovered while visiting Bali wedding venues
- why the photographs in a wedding package do not always show what you are actually buying
- how we dealt with language and cultural differences
- why I created a bilingual wedding look book
- what our wedding planner did and what I still planned myself
- planning for Bali’s heat and our guests’ comfort
- bridesmaids, food, drinks, entertainment and the second party
- what went wrong, including a sick bride and an injured groom
- what I would absolutely do again
- what I would tell anyone planning their own Bali destination wedding
Most importantly, this is our actual experience.
Not a supplier list.
Not a wedding brochure.
Not what somebody thinks planning a Bali wedding might be like.
What happened when we actually did it.
Then, eventually, came the proposal
A few years later, we were back in Bali.
This time, staying at the Bali Tropic Resort, which you might recognise from our Nusa Dua hotel guide.
And on one of our final nights, while I was attempting to pack an already overstuffed suitcase and wondering why Len was following me around the room trying to give me a present when I very clearly had handbags to strategically Tetris into our luggage, he proposed.
Very romantic.
Slightly chaotic.
Very us.
And almost immediately, that old thought came back.
What if we actually did it?
What if we got married in Bali?
If you are listening to this article rather than reading it on screen, you can find our Nusa Dua hotel guide linked within this post. You can also save this story to your My Boujie account using the heart icon so you can come back to it when the inevitable wedding spreadsheet appears.
Because it will.
Our Bali wedding at a glance
Where
Bali, Indonesia
Wedding style
Destination wedding
Guests
Almost a fifty fifty split between guests travelling from the UK and our Indonesian and Balinese friends and family
Planning
A lot more personally planned and designed by me than I originally expected, with a local wedding planner helping us turn it into reality
Venue
A more private venue further inland rather than one of Bali’s obvious tourist wedding venues
Food
A mixture of Indonesian and Chinese dishes, with traditional Balinese sweets and lighter desserts
Drinks
Open bar organised separately from the venue package
Entertainment
Live band, DJ, dancing and a second rooftop party the following evening
Would I change it?
Very little.
Would I personally plan another one?
Absolutely not.
Once was enough.
The Boujie Verdict: is getting married in Bali worth it?
For us, absolutely.
But I would not recommend getting married in Bali simply because you want to reproduce a British wedding somewhere tropical.
What made ours work was accepting that we were getting married in Bali.
That meant working with the people around us, communicating properly, respecting a culture that was not ours and accepting that eventually there would be things I simply had to trust other people to deliver.
If you need to physically inspect every flower, approve every napkin, hear every song beforehand and reproduce exactly what you would have created at home, planning a wedding thousands of miles away might make you miserable.
But if you can arrive with a strong vision, find good people, communicate what you want and then let Bali be Bali, you can create something you may never have been able to create at home.
Would we choose Bali again? Yes.
Would I volunteer to organise the entire thing again?
Absolutely not.
Why Bali?
For us, choosing Bali was never simply about wanting a tropical wedding.
Of course, Bali is beautiful.
Of course, getting married somewhere known as the Island of the Gods sounds ridiculously romantic.
But there was something much more important behind our decision.
Over the years we had made genuine friendships in Bali.
Some of those people had become family to us.
And when we started thinking about who we wanted around us on our wedding day, we realised something quite uncomfortable.
Some of the people we loved in Indonesia would almost certainly never be able to travel to the UK for our wedding.
The cost alone would make it completely unrealistic.
We, however, could get to Bali.
And suddenly the decision became much simpler.
Why ask one side of our family to achieve something almost impossible when we could go to them?
Our wedding eventually became almost a fifty fifty split between guests travelling from the UK and our Indonesian and Balinese friends and family.
And that is probably the thing I am proudest of.
Our wedding was not really about bringing everybody to our destination.
It was about finding somewhere our worlds could meet.
Finding the dream Bali wedding venue was not dreamy
Now we get to the bit Instagram tends to leave out.
Finding somewhere to actually hold the wedding.
We returned to Bali after getting engaged specifically to look at venues.
And we looked at quite a few. Some were beautiful. Some were expensive. Some were surprisingly affordable. Some had packages that looked fantastic until you started asking what was actually included.
We discovered fairly quickly that the picture in the wedding brochure does not necessarily represent the wedding package you are buying.
At one hotel, we had seen photographs of gorgeous ceremony styling and decorations, only to discover that the couple featured had arranged most of those elements themselves through outside suppliers.
The hotel could host the wedding. It could not necessarily recreate the wedding it had used to sell the idea. That was an important lesson.
Always ask exactly what is included.
Not what is in the photograph.
Not what you assume is included.
Not what “wedding package” sounds like it should include.
What are you actually paying for?
At another venue, the setting was lovely, but there were massage beds immediately beside the ceremony space.
We were told that only the closest couple of beds would be closed during our ceremony.
Meaning that while our guests were watching us say our vows, they could potentially glance sideways and watch another tourist getting a massage.
Romance really is alive and well. Needless to say, that venue came off the list. It was also one of the more expensive options we viewed. Sometimes money cannot save you from a deeply questionable floor plan.
And then there was the wedding conveyor belt
Another venue was incredibly affordable. There was a reason. The whole system felt like a wedding production line. One couple married. Then another arrived.
Different areas of the venue were used at particular times and everybody essentially moved through the system according to a schedule. And that absolutely works for some people.
If what matters to you is having the ceremony, getting beautiful photographs and keeping the budget incredibly tight, there is nothing inherently wrong with it.
It just wasn’t us.
We were asking people to travel halfway around the world. I did not want their experience of our wedding to feel like they had been allocated the 4.15 slot.
The biggest thing we had to learn about planning a wedding in Bali
Planning a wedding in another country requires a certain amount of humility.
You are the foreigner. That matters.
There were times when the language barrier was frustrating.
There were times when I would explain something that seemed completely obvious to me because I had grown up around British weddings and realise that the person I was speaking to had absolutely no idea what I meant.
And why would they? Our wedding traditions are not universal.
An Indonesian wedding does not necessarily operate like a British wedding.
Even the expectations around how long guests stay, how events are structured, what happens at the reception and the role different people play can be completely different.
It would have been incredibly arrogant of me to arrive in Indonesia, speak English and then become irritated because everybody around me did not automatically understand every obscure British wedding tradition in my head.
If I cannot communicate what I want in somebody else’s country, part of that responsibility belongs to me.
So I adapted.
I made a wedding look book
And when I say look book, I mean a proper one.
Photographs.
Colours.
Flower references.
Decor ideas.
Layouts.
Expectations.
Descriptions.
Everything I could think of.
And importantly, I translated it into Bahasa Indonesia as well.
Was my Indonesian perfect?
Absolutely not.
I am still very much a beginner.
But between the photographs, English explanations, Indonesian translations and conversations with people we trusted, everybody had a much clearer picture of what I was actually trying to create.
That document became one of the most valuable things I made during the whole planning process.
Because “romantic”, “elegant”, “traditional” and even “white wedding” can mean completely different things to different people.
A picture removes quite a lot of interpretation.
Eventually, we found our Bali wedding venue
I am deliberately not naming our wedding venue here.
Not because I want to be mysterious for the sake of it.
And not because we had a bad experience.
Quite the opposite.
It took a huge amount of research, travelling around Bali, conversations, local knowledge, existing friendships and working out what could realistically be adapted to find the place that worked for us.
It was not the obvious tourist wedding venue.
It was slightly further inland.
There was not a huge amount immediately surrounding it.
But it had what we needed.
Space.
Two pools.
Privacy.
And importantly, we were able to hire enough of the accommodation that a large portion of our wedding guests could stay together.
That completely changed the atmosphere.
It felt like ours for that little pocket of time.
I planned much more of our Bali wedding than I expected
We eventually had a wedding planner.
And I am very glad we did.
But I think there is sometimes a misconception that hiring a wedding planner means handing somebody your wedding and returning six months later to discover it has magically materialised.
That was not our experience.
Our planner helped turn the ideas into reality.
She found suppliers.
She communicated with vendors.
She coordinated things locally.
She made things happen.
But the vision was ours.
And, if I am being fair, an enormous amount of the design and decision making was mine.
I chose the flowers.
I chose the styling.
I designed the decor.
I chose the food.
I designed our cocktails.
I worked out the wedding favours.
I sourced things.
I chose the cake flavours.
I designed a photo booth that was then actually built for us.
I even worked through the tiny practical details people probably never noticed.
And those were often my favourite bits.
Because Bali is hot: planning a wedding for the tropical climate
This sounds incredibly obvious. Bali is tropical. You know that before you arrive.
Yet wedding planning has a strange way of making people temporarily forget that their guests are human beings with sweat glands. I thought constantly about the heat.
What would people wear?
Where could they get shade?
When would they move between different parts of the venue?
How long would they be outside?
Would people be comfortable?
We sourced personalised fans.
We provided parasols.
We planned movement through the venue so that people had opportunities to get out of the heat.
And in the bathrooms I put little refreshment supplies.
Deodorant.
Face wipes.
Fragrance.
Things people could use to freshen themselves up.
Because there is nothing glamorous about sitting through somebody’s wedding wondering whether everyone else can smell you.
These were tiny details.
But our guests had travelled a very long way.
I wanted them comfortable.
Even the bridesmaids’ outfits became an adventure
I wanted my bridesmaids to wear traditional Balinese inspired clothing.
Not as costume.
I wanted something beautiful, comfortable and appropriate for the climate that they could also keep afterwards as part of the memory.
We eventually chose kebaya and sarong styling.
Beautiful.
Breathable.
Practical.
Also, much more complicated to organise than anticipated.
Sizing is different.
The undergarments required underneath are different.
Shoe sizing can be different.
And because everybody was arriving in Bali at different times, we could not simply organise one convenient bridesmaids shopping afternoon.
There is another thing I think destination couples need to remember.
Your wedding may be the centre of your trip, but it is not necessarily the centre of everybody else’s.
Your guests are using annual leave.
They are spending thousands of pounds.
They are flying across the world.
For them, this is also their holiday.
We did not want to dictate that everybody had to arrive seven days beforehand simply because we had wedding jobs for them.
Most people naturally chose to arrive at least a day or so before.
Others came earlier.
And we worked around that.
At one point I bought one of the bridesmaid outfits without the bridesmaid even being there and simply had to pray that it fitted when she arrived.
Thankfully, it did.
I have never been so relieved by an item of clothing in my life.
I paid for the bridal party
This is one of my personal wedding opinions, so take it or leave it.
If I ask somebody to be part of my wedding and then tell them what they must wear, how they must have their hair and what I expect them to look like, I don’t personally feel comfortable then handing them the bill.
Especially when they have already paid to travel to Bali for me.
So we covered it.
Their outfits.
Hair.
Makeup.
The things we were asking them to have specifically for our wedding.
That was our choice.
And I would make the same choice again.
My view
If I ask somebody to be part of my wedding and then dictate what they need to wear and how I expect them to look, I personally think that cost belongs to me.
Especially when they have already spent a significant amount of money travelling internationally to be there.
You may completely disagree.
But I would make the same choice again.
My friend in Bali, who had become family to us over the years, works professionally in hair and makeup.
She had experience across weddings, pre wedding shoots, television, film and other events.
She offered to help me.
But there is a saying I have always liked.
Good accounts make good friends.
So rather than treating her expertise like something I was simply entitled to because we were friends, we arranged everything properly.
And I also asked her to be one of my bridesmaids.
Because she wasn’t simply somebody working at our wedding.
She was somebody I wanted standing beside me.
Bali wedding food: then there was the food
I never pictured myself having a buffet at my wedding.
For some reason, growing up in the UK, I had absorbed this idea that a formal plated meal was somehow more elegant.
Then I actually had to organise a wedding for people from completely different backgrounds, with different dietary requirements and completely different tastes.
And suddenly the buffet made perfect sense.
People could choose.
Vegetarian?
Choose what works.
Don’t like something?
Leave it.
Never tried Indonesian food before?
Take a small portion and have a go.
There were still staff serving at the stations, so it did not feel like everybody had been abandoned beside a tray of lukewarm chips.
The food was gorgeous.
We had a mixture of Indonesian and Chinese dishes, with choices that worked across our guest list.
For dessert, we deliberately kept things lighter.
Fresh fruit skewers.
Traditional Balinese sweets.
Things some of our British guests might never otherwise have thought to try.
And we already had wedding cake.
Nobody needs seventeen different cakes simply because two people got married.
Our Bali wedding bar was open
This was another thing we could never realistically have afforded at the same scale in the UK.
The venue package did not include alcohol.
So we sourced it ourselves.
Found suppliers.
Worked out what we needed.
Created cocktails.
Paid for the bar staff.
And then opened the bar for our guests.
Nobody needed to buy a drink during the wedding.
That meant a lot to us.
The same principle kept coming back again and again.
People had spent a fortune getting there.
Once they were with us, we wanted to host them properly.
We wanted full stomachs.
Drinks.
Entertainment.
Comfort.
Shade.
Fun.
And as little additional spending pressure as we could reasonably remove.
About that 10pm finish…
One of the biggest cultural adjustments for us was discovering that the venues we were looking at could not simply have loud outdoor wedding music carrying on into the early hours.
The venues explained that amplified outdoor entertainment needed to finish at around 10pm in their circumstances.
Coming from the UK, that initially felt incredibly early.
Our weddings can go on until two or three in the morning.
The couple disappears and everybody else carries on behaving increasingly questionably.
It’s tradition.
But we weren’t getting married in Britain.
We were in Bali.
We had neighbours around us.
Local expectations.
Local rules.
And ultimately, you either respect the place you have chosen to marry in or you shouldn’t be marrying there.
So instead of complaining about it, we worked with it.
And then we created something else.
Wedding day, then rooftop party
The wedding itself began in the afternoon once the worst of the heat had started to pass.
We celebrated properly.
We ate. Drank. Danced.
And then, the following evening, we essentially did it all over again.
We hired out a rooftop space nearby and gave everybody a second party.
Food again.
Drinks.
DJ.
Karaoke.
A swimming pool.
A huge mix of dishes, from Indonesian and Chinese food to pizza, pasta, mac and cheese and other familiar favourites.
The dress code could relax.
Everybody could simply enjoy themselves.
And because apparently we hadn’t already done enough…
We hired a tattoo artist.
Yes.
A real tattoo artist.
We knew somebody through our connections in Bali, and because Len and I often get tattoos while travelling there ourselves, it felt completely us.
Guests who wanted a small tattoo could put their name down and have one done.
Again, we covered it.
Nobody had to participate.
Obviously.
Imagine that wedding favour.
“Thanks for coming, here’s a permanent mark on your body.”
But for the people who wanted one, it became a brilliant little memory of the trip.
The wedding favours were handmade too
I brought the boxes over from the UK.
Then, once we were in Bali, Len and I found beautiful local fabrics.
We cut pieces and used them to line the boxes so every favour had a little piece of Indonesian design inside it.
A friend helped me assemble them at the hotel.
Then we filled them with little treats and things for our guests to discover.
Were people analysing the fabric lining and appreciating the hours of thought that went into it?
Probably not.
And that is fine.
Not every thoughtful detail needs applause.
Sometimes it is enough that you know why you did it.
I also became the wedding singer
I sing. I don’t really perform. There is a difference.
But somewhere during this entire planning adventure I decided I wanted to sing my bridesmaids and myself down the aisle.
Naturally.
So just before the wedding, I met the live band. I had never performed with them before. We had around an hour together. We rehearsed. That was basically it. It felt absurdly rock and roll.
Walk in.
Meet the band.
Sing the song.
See you at the wedding.
They were fantastic. Unfortunately, I was not. Well, that’s unfair. I survived. Because there was another slight problem.
I was ill.
Of course I got sick before my own wedding
The night before the wedding, both of us were feeling rough.
So before separating for the evening, we did what every glamorous bride and groom apparently does before getting married in paradise.
We had vitamin infusions together in the hotel. Romance.
I was losing my voice.
And because I had committed myself to singing down the aisle, that was mildly inconvenient.
On the wedding day itself, I was basically surviving on hot water, lemon and honey.
Thankfully, we discovered we had a bride and groom assistant included in the wedding arrangements.
I hadn’t even realised I’d paid for that. She was brilliant. She kept me supplied with drinks and helped keep everything moving.
The singing was a little pitchier than I would have liked. I know I could have sung it better.
That is probably the only thing I look back on and think, ugh.
Nobody else seems to have noticed. So I’m choosing to believe them.
Meanwhile, Len had injured himself
This is the part where I would like it recorded for history that I was right.
A couple of days before the wedding, despite my suggestion that perhaps this wasn’t the ideal time to go motorbike riding, Len went motorbike riding.
You can probably guess what happened.
There was an accident.
He hurt his foot.
Quite badly.
So shortly before our wedding we also found ourselves at A&E trying to establish whether my future husband was going to walk down the aisle in a cast.
Thankfully, nothing serious enough to stop the wedding showed up.
But he was bruised.
He was limping.
And yes, it affected our first dance.
I had already said don’t go on the bike.
That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Marriage is about forgiveness.
Apparently.
But when we actually got there…
For all the planning.
The spreadsheets.
The translations.
The venue visits.
The suppliers.
The injuries.
The illness.
The outfits.
The food.
The bar.
The flowers.
The band.
The tiny details.
When the actual ceremony arrived, none of that was the most important thing.
Our people were there.
That was it.
[IMAGE]
Our friend officiated the ceremony.
His family has strong Christian connections.
Len and I aren’t Christian.
But we have always felt something quite simple about faith.
If your blessing comes from a place of genuine love and it means something to you to give it to us, then it means something to us to receive it.
Our Hindu friends blessed us too.
We had been part of a beautiful blessing ceremony in the days beforehand.
Different faiths.
Different cultures.
Different traditions.
Nobody needed to become somebody else.
Nobody needed to agree on everything.
Everybody simply brought something loving to the same place.
And we received it in the spirit it was given.
We mixed everyone together
At the reception, we deliberately mixed the tables.
British guests sat with Indonesian guests.
Friends met people they would never otherwise have encountered.
Cultures mixed.
Conversations started.
There was no enormous traditional top table filled with the expected relatives.
Len and I had a sweetheart table.
Just us.
And from there we could look out and watch everybody else talking, laughing and enjoying themselves.
That is one of my favourite memories.
Because that was the whole point.
Bringing people together.
What our Bali wedding was really about
When I look back at the photographs now, of course I see the dress.
The flowers.
The ceremony.
The beautiful tropical setting.
All those things matter.
But they aren’t what makes me proud.
What makes both Len and me proud is that people came halfway around the world and we gave them something we genuinely believe was worth coming for.
We couldn’t control their flights.
We couldn’t give them their annual leave back.
We couldn’t make Bali closer to Britain.
But once they got there, we could look after them.
So we tried.
We built a wedding website with information about getting around Bali.
Apps they might need.
Travel guidance.
Things that would make the trip easier.
We recommended people we knew and trusted locally, including friends working in tourism, which meant our guests could have brilliant experiences while also putting money directly into local businesses.
And when the wedding arrived, we fed everybody.
Watered everybody.
Entertained everybody.
Made them comfortable.
Introduced people.
Shared food.
Shared culture.
Shared our favourite place.
We wanted our British friends to understand why Bali had become so important to us.
And we wanted our Indonesian friends and family to feel every bit as much a part of the celebration.
Our guest list ended up almost exactly divided between those two worlds.
And somehow, for one day, they became one.
Would I plan a Bali wedding again?
For ourselves?
Absolutely not.
Once was enough.
I mean that with love.
But would I change ours?
No.
There is genuinely very little I would change.
It was stressful.
There were things I had to let go of.
There were things I could not approve in person beforehand.
The flowers, for example, were essentially created from references I provided.
I had to trust that they would turn up looking right.
The photo booth existed first as an idea in my head and a design, then I had to trust somebody else to physically build it.
I did not spend months interviewing bands.
I met ours shortly before the wedding.
I gave the DJ very little instruction and let him do his job.
And this is probably the biggest piece of advice I would give anyone considering a wedding abroad.
You have to be capable of letting some things go.
If you need to personally control every centimetre, hear every song beforehand, approve every flower and physically inspect every napkin six months before your wedding, doing this thousands of miles away from home might make you miserable.
You need a vision.
You need good communication.
You need people you trust.
And then at some point, you have to let those people do what you hired them to do.
That isn’t easy.
But it is necessary.
What I would tell anyone planning a Bali wedding
After actually doing it, these are probably the things I would want somebody considering a Bali destination wedding to know.
Ask exactly what the wedding package includes
Do not assume that everything shown in a hotel’s promotional wedding photographs forms part of the package you are buying.
Ask.
Specifically.
Remember that you are the visitor
British wedding traditions are not universal.
If somebody does not understand exactly what you mean, explain it rather than assuming they should automatically know.
Pictures can communicate things words cannot
My wedding look book became one of the most useful things I created.
“Elegant”, “traditional”, “romantic” and “white wedding” can mean completely different things to different people.
Showing somebody what you mean removes a lot of interpretation.
Plan for the climate, not just the photographs
Bali is hot.
Think about shade, fans, clothing, timing, drinks and how long people will actually be standing outside.
Your guests being comfortable matters.
Remember that this is your guests’ holiday too
People may have spent thousands of pounds and used a lot of annual leave to get there.
The wedding is obviously important.
But their entire holiday does not have to revolve around it.
Hire people you trust
You cannot inspect everything yourself from thousands of miles away.
At some point you need to let the people you hired do their jobs.
Do not try to turn Bali into Britain
Work with where you are.
Respect the place.
Respect the culture.
And work with what is realistically possible there.
Decide what actually matters
For us, ultimately, it was not whether every tiny detail was technically perfect.
It was bringing our people together and making sure that once they had travelled all that way, we looked after them.
That is what I would protect if I were doing it again.
The rest is detail.
Thinking about your own Bali wedding?
Over the years, we’ve built relationships, learnt an enormous amount about organising things in Bali, made mistakes, solved problems and ultimately created something we are immensely proud of.
That knowledge didn’t come from downloading a supplier list.
It came from years of travelling, building relationships, learning the culture, visiting venues, understanding what worked, discovering what didn’t and actually organising the thing.
So if you’re planning something similar and would value thoughtful, experience led guidance, you’re welcome to get in touch with me.
I don’t publish our private venue and supplier network as a free directory because that isn’t really where the value sits.
The value is in understanding what you’re trying to create, whether it is realistic, where you need flexibility and how all of those moving parts might come together.
Any planning support would be offered as a paid, bespoke consultancy and would start with a conversation to make sure we’re the right fit for each other.
Because if I were ever going to help somebody do this, trust would need to work both ways.
Planning your own Bali trip?
Even if you’re not getting married, you can still steal the best part.
Go.
Experience it.
Find your own favourite corner.
We normally book our travel through Expedia, and you’ll find Expedia booking links throughout Boujie Buddha’s Bali guides where they’re relevant.
If you’re listening to this article, those links are available within the page you’re listening from, and you can use the hotel or booking links to explore the places we recommend.
You can also use the heart icon to save this article to your My Boujie account and come back to it later.
Because whether you are planning a wedding, a honeymoon, or simply your first adventure together, you don’t have to remember everything right now.
Save the good stuff.
Come back when you need it.
More from Boujie Buddha in Bali
Where to Stay in Nusa Dua and Tanjung Benoa
One final thought
People sometimes talk about destination weddings as though they’re about escaping somewhere exotic.
Ours wasn’t.
Ours was about bringing everybody closer.
Two countries.
Different cultures.
Different religions.
Different traditions.
Family we were born into.
Family we found along the way.
All sitting around the same tables, eating the same food and celebrating the same thing.
Us.
Len and I were going to get married regardless.
That part was easy.
The privilege was getting to share one of the most important places in our lives with some of the most important people in it.
And somehow, against the heat, the language barriers, the limping groom, the sick bride and every tiny thing that could have gone wrong…
It worked.
It was beautiful.
It was completely ours.
And I don’t think we could have asked for anything more.
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